The Power of Saying "No"
And why is it such an important skill to master, not just in life, but in business too
This topic will be a slight step away from my usual product growth related content. I've decided to deep dive into this subject because, from personal experience, I find it to be very related to my professional life. It will be more short and focused content.
In our daily routines, in order for things to move faster or for us to 'look' good in someone's eyes, we tend to agree to a lot of things without even thinking of the further consequences. Over time, this tends to become a habit, which can be quite overwhelming and exhausting.
I've learned that over time, I start rejecting and saying 'no' to way more things, and it actually started to free up my mind, and I'm more focused on things that matter.
Why is it so hard to say “No”?
For the majority of people, saying 'no' usually sounds awkward and in many instances difficult, because we are directly putting aside people's expectations. We are afraid to lose friends or have a bad image in front of our colleagues.
We all have been in this situation... where we've just finished work, went home, spent some time with the family, and suddenly at 9 p.m., your boss is sending you a message to check this 'important email' and to prepare some information and a deck for this 'important meeting' tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.
In business and entrepreneurship, it is probably the most visible, as leaders realize the underlying pressure to always say 'yes.' In people's minds, they feel like declining something will result in a lost opportunity, simply because it helps avoid conflict or because you feel obligated to.
How do you communicate an effective “No”?
Rejecting something doesn't have to sound negative all the time. In fact, we can often learn the skill of being more liberating because, at the end of the day, we want to maintain our current personal/professional relationships.
What you really want to be able to master is 'empowered refusal.' This is basically a powerful skill that focuses on saying 'no' in a way that is persuasive and does not elicit pushback from others.
It's important here to understand deeply that what matters is the word we use to say 'no.' Using phrases like 'I don’t,' 'I never,' and 'I always' demonstrates resolve, dedication, authority, and empowerment.
Outside of mastering 'empowered refusal,' what I usually try to do is something more simple - be graceful.
How often have you been told that the manner of your speech matters more than the words themselves?
The impact significantly differs when someone screams at you, their face red with anger, as they hurl insults and shout… “I don't have time for that! Why would you think I can handle this task?"
So, how can you actually say 'no' in a more graceful way, especially when facing someone aggressive?
Be nice. Being courteous is always the right choice. Show gratitude for the opportunity or consideration, even when you have to decline with a 'no.'
Be positive. Steer clear of a defensive or confrontational tone. Aim to keep the dialogue amiable.
Be sorry. Exhibiting empathy can be incredibly impactful. Expressing sincere regret when turning down a request can convey your understanding of its significance to the other person.
Be honest. Your justifications for declining are sufficient. Concisely articulate your reasons for saying 'no,' but be careful not to over-elaborate, as this can cause confusion.
Be helpful. Saying 'no'—or 'no for now'—doesn't necessarily mean it's the end of the line for everyone involved. Suggest alternative options or compromises, or work together to discover a different solution.
Let's take this in a positive direction and demystify the power of saying 'no,' especially in business."
How powerful is saying “no” really?
One of the most significant lessons I learned early on was that even if all evidence points towards a 'yes,' sometimes your instincts persistently suggest a 'no.' Developing the ability to trust your intuition is crucial for any leader.
I've learned myself that there are a few really important benefits of being able to say 'no,' which you might want to experiment with.
1. Rejecting the bad to embrace the good
This might depend on your situation in the workplace (position, environment, etc.), but it's not always the case that those in greater power (CEOs, etc.) are the only ones who can say 'no' to whatever they want.
You are still in control to reject ideas/decisions that negatively impact your time and outcome, shifting you away from your goals. You need to protect your priorities and focus on work that can produce a greater impact.
2. Refusing requests can be a method of looking after yourself
The more you say 'yes,' the faster you usually get burned out, demotivated, and lacking motivation to move on. It's important to recognize the ones that really drive such mood and behavioural changes and eliminate them as much as possible. Trust me, this can be a big energy drainer!
One thing you can do is, someday during the working week, try to block some time for yourself. Either for sports activities, social meetups, or just clearing some pending work that is important. I actually have this habit from a long time and on average try to get around 5-6 hours blocked each week (for specifics, I refer to Mon - Fri).
3. People learn to appreciate your time
What I'm getting at with this point is that setting boundaries with others involves acknowledging and honouring your own needs, without compromising on what's important to you.
In the context of work, this can manifest in meetings where there's a focus on finding solutions rather than just having a chat, demonstrating that your time is valued. is valued.
4. Protect your time
We all know that the most valuable asset is our time. Sometimes we tend to waste it more than other times. But what we need to realize is that saying 'yes' too much drifts us away from what really matters and your time is working for someone else's benefits.
Rather than dedicating time to unproductive relationships or obligations that don’t excite or inspire you, seek out opportunities that genuinely align with and further your objectives.
5. Enhance decision-making skills
Learning to say 'no' effectively boosts your ability to make decisions judiciously. It forces you to evaluate options critically and prioritize tasks that are truly beneficial. This practice not only refines your decision-making process but also empowers you to steer your personal and professional life in a more focused and goal-oriented direction.
As a final thought, I would say that mastering the art of saying 'no' is more than a simple refusal; it's about prioritizing your well-being, respecting your time, and aligning your actions with your goals. Embrace the power of 'no' to navigate your path with intention and clarity.